Monday, May 20, 2013

Our big announcement

I have "my family"!!
We've decided to get through all the screenings and contract/financial negations before we announced it but we have gone through everything now with no issues so I can officially announcement that we are all systems go with the IP (Intended parents) and ready to proceed with the IVF process next month. with any luck I shoud be pregnant by August or September. I'm not going to use their names in this blog to protect their privacy. I am beyond excited to start and I'm bonding so well with the IP as I had hoped I would.

More updates coming very soon!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Is this MY couple?

Its may now (2013). Mothers day is this Sunday and my birthday (5/17) is just a few days after that. LOTS of things have been happening in the last few months that I have, for the most part, kept to myself and close friends.

Back in December I met with a potential couple. Just a few weeks later I got a call that they liked me and wanted to proceed with using me as their surrogate if I would have them. While deciding if they were the couple for me I weighed the pros and cons.
Cons,
-I had only met them once and meeting someone once doesn't give you enough to go on if they are "the couple" to carry a baby for. They were so sweet and loving and their story of infertility was heart breaking but were they MY couple?One 2 hour brunch was not really enough to go on.
-Another con was, they had already had a successful natural pregnancy and now a beautiful 2 year old girl from it. I guess the image I had in my head of the couple was a childless one so that took some time for me to get past as well.
-Also at the time they were not sold on the idea of a birth center birth but were open to being persuaded.

Its a small con list and honestly, nothing on that list was a deal breaker or even really a big deal. My Pro list is fortunately much longer than the con.
Pro's
-The Intended Parents (IP) only wanted to put in one egg at a time. The mother lost her uterus in an high intervention birth with her daughter just 18 months prior. She does still have her ovaries and since she had no problems getting pregnant the first time and is young and healthy, she has nice healthy fresh eggs which give us a good chance of getting pregnant the first try with just the one. This is important to me because if I end up carrying multiples I can no longer deliver in a birthing center since my #1 wish was an out of hospital birth. Also should it be more than just twins I was not going to allow selective termination which is common for more than twins. That's just not something I'm comfortable having on my conscious.I'm not judging those who have, its just not for me. I've lost a baby before in pregnancy and I think that would do more harm for me emotionally.
-Because of having a having an high intervention birth just 18 months prior they wanted someone who was going to go at the pregnancy in a more natural minded and healthy way than most do. Since I'm a birth doula thats kind of my thing so we are a good fit there.
-Having the embryo's genetically tested before implanting was also high on my list. I didn't want to have to be worried about carrying a baby that may end up unhealthy for whatever reason and later have them make the decision to terminate the pregnancy because of it and try again.
-They want to be involved in the pregnancy process as much as possible and wanted to bond and have a relationship with me and my family which was one of my hopes for this. I don't want to be just a "womb for rent" for a family, not have involvement or keep in touch after the baby is born which I hear does happen.
-The IP have a big loving, supportive extended family living very close by and who want to be involved in all of this too which I think is wonderful since I am not close with anyone in my family except my sister.
-They (after meeting my midwife and touring the birth center I have chosen Tree of life birth center ) loved my midwife Kaleen and were completly on board with the out of hospital birth. They said she had such passion for what she does, trusted her skills and she had a beautiful office and birth center and that since the birth center was so close to the hospital they felt very secure in having me birth there.
-The IP's were completely on board with my requests for "extras" which were for a complete chiropractic pregnancy package and the birth doula of my choosing since I am doing this naturally I think having a doula is important and I'm not just saying that since I happen to be a doula.


Since meeting these IP back in December 2012 and their now almost 2 year old daughter (she's SO adorable) I've met with them a few more times. They came up to meet my midwife, tour the birth center and to shop around the central Florida area for a fertility clinic. Even if they didn't go with me Orlando is home to some of the best IVF specialists in the country and since the rest of the other surrogates are spread out all over FL so it seemed like a good place to start their search.

I'll keep you all posted on future updates.