Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Birth Without Fear conference

Last week I went to the Birth Without Fear conference when it came to Orlando. I know my blog is surrogacy related but I'm a birth doula so birth and babies are my thing and Birth Without Fear likes to feature surrogacy stories when they come up. If you are a birth junkie like myself and haven't checked out January's blog, I highly recommend it. There can be a lot going on there so I usually just stick with their facebook feeds . Its a snap shot of whats on their blog as I could read birth stories all day and I already have a problem getting sucked into Reddit most days so I don't need another site taking up all my time.

The conference was great. Several of my friends went, my ladies over at ICAN were there too. January, Mrs. BWF, stopped me to rub my belly and when I told her about the surrogacy she asked for a photo of us to use for her site. EEK! Sammy was with me too wearing his "baby" since thats what all the mamas were doing. I was super nervous to have my 5 y/o with me to a 6+ hour conference in a crowed ball room with no other kids his age. Luckily there were a few other kids his age and our local Once Upon A Child provided a play area in the conference room, what a live saver. I almost forgot I brought him with a few times he was so quiet and well behaved.

Break out sessions happened after lunch which was nice. We were split up from our friends and asked to talk about our fears. Fears not just for pregnancy or birth but parenting, fertility, you get the point. I spoke of risk. IVF comes with a higher risk of Preeclampsia which would risk me out of my birth center birth and possibly wind me up in a cesarean section which is not my goal and very unwanted. I have wrapped my mind around all the possible out comes because being blindsided by it would be harder to deal with for me personally. I wanted a few things out of surrogacy. I wanted to be pregnant because lets face it, I'm freakin adorable when I'm pregnant ;-D , I wanted to have my out of hospital birth that I didn't get with my own. Don't get me wrong, I had healthy vaginal births and Sammy's was great but not that peaceful waterbirth I want. Instead I had to kick my OBGYN away so I could deliver my baby. Seeing and being apart of so many amazing births over the last 5 years makes me want that experience. Lastly I wanted to give a family the gift of life. This journey I've been on with my IP's so far has been incredibly rewarding, almost as rewarding as having my own children. I speak with my IM every few days through text, sending her pictures or telling her about the new things the baby is doing, what weird things hes making me eat (yes, I blame him) or general updates. Its the best feeling when she gets giddy from me telling her about how much he's moving or that kicking has started. That alone was why I did this. I wanted to give what I felt in my own, magical amazing pregnancies, to another mother. Seeing her face light up during the ultrasounds or calling her if she can't make it to my prenatal appointment that month so she can hear the babies heart beat is the BEST! Even if it comes down to an unwanted c-section I will still feel fulfilled although the thought of that happening gives me a bit of anxiety if I'm going to be honest. I'm lucky enough to live in an area where we have a TON of support of moms who've had c-sections and I'll know where to turn if that happens, ICAN. It also helps that VBACs are my specialty (and MY doulas specialty) as a doula and I have many tricks up my sleeve for preventing one.

January (Mrs.BWF) stopped me for a belly rub and photo.  (22 weeks 6 days here)

Every birth junkie loves a pregnant belly to rub. 

Blessingway yarn ceremony for ALL 100+ of us connected at once. 
The kids play area. Sammy is in the monster jacket
and monster backpack. 
With all the baby wearing mamas there he
requested his unicorn about 2 min. into the conference
and wore his baby in his "Ergo shirt" all day.
How freaking cute!!!!!

belly pictures 20-23 weeks

20 week ultrasound. Its still a boy! 
20 weeks

21 weeks. As you can see, my feet are starting to disappear. 

22 weeks
23 weeks and 4 days.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The baby and I keeping busy

I try to stay active during pregnancy. As much as I'd love to hang out in my pjs all day I've got 2 busy boys to keep occupied so this baby is coming along for the ride. He joined me at a birth last week for a doula client of mine and I kid you not, once I arrived he went nuts for 10 straight hours which was the legnth of the moms labor. Must be those faromones in the air.

20 week ultrasound.

According to the report and ultrasound tech, this baby boy has "perfect anatomy". The 20 week anatomy u/s went well. My IPs and their daughter came up for it so I let my 7 y/o Benji skip school to come too since he had not met them yet and he wanted to even though he became shy and wasn't very friendly.

Here is the little guy who's been moving and kicking up a storm. He seems to be very reactive to direct sound already. When I play his parents reading a bed time story for him, which I asked them to record so he could get used to their voices too, he goes nuts. Same when my kindle is testing on my belly while I have music on. He's also more active at night.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

my son is getting attached.....

Sammy, 5 y/o, is in love with my belly. He talks to the baby, loves my belly, kisses the baby goodnight and I can't leave the house or drop him off at school with out him having to rub my belly and say goodbye. It's very sweet but we're trying to make sure he doesn't get attached. He said last week "mommy, when you're done making this baby for miss X (that's what we'll call the mom on here for privacy reasons), will you make a baby for me?" CRAP! He wants a sibling now. He is fully aware that is not our baby and he's going home with his parents just after delivery and not with us. Just to be sure now that he seems to be getting overly attached I ask him who's baby is it and he always respond with " it's miss and Mr X's baby". A few weeks ago I took them to a party where Sammy walked me around patting my belly telling everyone "this is miss X's baby".

Now to the sibling issue. We are done having kids. Nik has been threatening a vasectomy for about a year now. I am still holding out hope for an accidental 3rd in a few years but right now I'm focused on my family, finishing my up my degree and getting my masters so the idea of having another baby and resetting that clock sounds daunting and not something I want to do again unless I find myself randomly knocked up. Explaining no more babies for OUR family didn't go over so well with Sammy but he's coming around.

Here is Sammy last week showing the baby a 4 he made out of Legos for the baby.

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

So thoughtful...

My IPs sent the boys both Christmas gifts and then this sweet kids book on surrogacy.

week 14-19

14 weeks

Not much to say except he's moving and growing nicely. Around 13 weeks my aversion to meat went away but now at 18 weeks is back. I'm seeing a chiropractor monthly to keep me moving well which is something I insist all my doula clients do to ensure an easier pregnancy and birth. I booked my doula for my birth. Cynthia is a fellow doula and a good friend. I've looked up to her as a souls since I became one. It seems like the perfect fit for me.
15 weeks while remodeling my closet

16 weeks at my sister's apartment

17 weeks

18 weeks in my PJs

19 weeks

It's amazing how we've grown in 6 weeks.