The conference was great. Several of my friends went, my ladies over at ICAN were there too. January, Mrs. BWF, stopped me to rub my belly and when I told her about the surrogacy she asked for a photo of us to use for her site. EEK! Sammy was with me too wearing his "baby" since thats what all the mamas were doing. I was super nervous to have my 5 y/o with me to a 6+ hour conference in a crowed ball room with no other kids his age. Luckily there were a few other kids his age and our local Once Upon A Child provided a play area in the conference room, what a live saver. I almost forgot I brought him with a few times he was so quiet and well behaved.
Break out sessions happened after lunch which was nice. We were split up from our friends and asked to talk about our fears. Fears not just for pregnancy or birth but parenting, fertility, you get the point. I spoke of risk. IVF comes with a higher risk of Preeclampsia which would risk me out of my birth center birth and possibly wind me up in a cesarean section which is not my goal and very unwanted. I have wrapped my mind around all the possible out comes because being blindsided by it would be harder to deal with for me personally. I wanted a few things out of surrogacy. I wanted to be pregnant because lets face it, I'm freakin adorable when I'm pregnant ;-D , I wanted to have my out of hospital birth that I didn't get with my own. Don't get me wrong, I had healthy vaginal births and Sammy's was great but not that peaceful waterbirth I want. Instead I had to kick my OBGYN away so I could deliver my baby. Seeing and being apart of so many amazing births over the last 5 years makes me want that experience. Lastly I wanted to give a family the gift of life. This journey I've been on with my IP's so far has been incredibly rewarding, almost as rewarding as having my own children. I speak with my IM every few days through text, sending her pictures or telling her about the new things the baby is doing, what weird things hes making me eat (yes, I blame him) or general updates. Its the best feeling when she gets giddy from me telling her about how much he's moving or that kicking has started. That alone was why I did this. I wanted to give what I felt in my own, magical amazing pregnancies, to another mother. Seeing her face light up during the ultrasounds or calling her if she can't make it to my prenatal appointment that month so she can hear the babies heart beat is the BEST! Even if it comes down to an unwanted c-section I will still feel fulfilled although the thought of that happening gives me a bit of anxiety if I'm going to be honest. I'm lucky enough to live in an area where we have a TON of support of moms who've had c-sections and I'll know where to turn if that happens, ICAN. It also helps that VBACs are my specialty (and MY doulas specialty) as a doula and I have many tricks up my sleeve for preventing one.
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| January (Mrs.BWF) stopped me for a belly rub and photo. (22 weeks 6 days here) |
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| Every birth junkie loves a pregnant belly to rub. |
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| Blessingway yarn ceremony for ALL 100+ of us connected at once. |
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| The kids play area. Sammy is in the monster jacket and monster backpack. |
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| With all the baby wearing mamas there he requested his unicorn about 2 min. into the conference and wore his baby in his "Ergo shirt" all day. How freaking cute!!!!! |
