Our birth story part III

Getting ready to transfer. I asked them to place and IV and fluids
so I didn't have to wait for them at the hospital and slow down
the process.

 Its quite difficult to not push when your body is trying hard to expel a baby from its womb. The Ambulance ride was rough but my saving grace was my midwife Kaleen along for the ride. Kaleen talked to me and had me breath through each contraction which were no longer productive since he was trying to come out forehead first and chin up. Once you're that deep into labor and you've made the decision to get pain meds or for a c-section its near impossible to keep calm during contractions and pushing. I lost my shit. Every time one came instead of breathing through them and moaning I would panic. These contractions were not doing anything anymore and we've moved on to plan B, time to stop now, okay? We had a few more guided contractions in the ambulance hoping he'd shoot out before we got there. Kaleen keep tabs on the baby's heart tones the entire time and he never once had so much as a heart deceleration. Upon arrival the nurse at the front tried to make us stop and fill out paperwork. We told her I was not up for that right now but she insisted so I faked a very loud and violent contraction while pushing and yelling I've been pushing for 3 hours now and to let us pass. She did with a look of horror on her face. Kaleen quickly realized it was fake when I smirked up at her. We had a good laugh about it and how even in the rush of it all I was still able to keep my sense of humor.

Vanessa and Nik just before surgery 

Kaleen helped them wheal me into my L&D room and we pushed a few more times hoping he'd become low enough, with our hours of trying all the tricks and remedies, to vacuum out. He was not. Still at a zero station. He, still after 3 hours of pushing, position changes, maneuvers,  handstands with Kaleen's arms up me physically turning him and maneuvering his chin down (he'd go right back), herbs and LOTS of spinning babies tricks and every other trick my midwife, her 2 students, my doula and myself could come up with had not helped one bit. Had it helped we would have kept at it since both of our vitals were great. Kaleen and I together made the call. I knew what had to be done and that we'd exhausted all of our options. Also, still no pain relief at this point. I was okay with the decision but my husband was nervous and my midwife was heart broken for me. I love her, have I mentioned that before? I knew Gus and Vanessa had to be nervous as I hadn't seen them since I left the birth center. We made the call. Nik and the family came in to be with me before hand to get in our lovey OR gear and we posed for one last photo before I went in for a spinal and to start the surgery. Normally its only one person allowed back in the OR with the mother but since we were the first surrogacy in that hospital ever, they let us do what we wanted. Nik and Vanessa came in as soon as I was given the spinal and they began quickly. Vanessa was anxious but her face was what I wanted to see more than anything. I wanted to see that look on her face as soon as she saw him and it was better than I'd imagined. She cried and tears landed on me as she kissed my forehead thanking me. It was, by far, up there as one of the best moments of my life next to the birth of my own children. I got a quick peak at him and she left the OR to introduce him to his father who was waiting out there with their family.


















Nik stayed in the OR while they finished up on me. My doula brain kicked in and I started micromanaging the medical staff in regards to what medication I wanted and what they need to do with my placenta. It slipped my mind to say something but he did use staples on me for some reason which was very unhappy with and got out as soon as humanly possible. We went back into my L&D room to recover and much to my surprise, Vanessa and Gus were in there with the whole family. I got to rest with my family and friends while meeting their extended family and spending time with them and the baby which they named Joaquin. Joaquin was the exact same size as my oldest son Benjamin. Seeing Vanessa get to bond with Joaquin was a beautiful sight as she didn't get to with her daughter due to postpartum complications. She even put him to the breast just for comfort. I just about melted when I saw that.

We posed for photos for my photographer who took beautiful pictures of our Sweet baby J, as I like to call him, up until they were ready to move us into postpartum recovery. Vanessa and Gus were in the room right next to mine and I got a GOOD nights sleep. Pumping was important to me so I started once I was able to sit up which was about 6 hours postpartum. I sent milk over for him every few hours after that. Typically after a c-section they withhold food for about 12-24 hours just in case but I was given the all clear just a few hours after birth. I pumped, ate, called my dad and went to bed for a good night rest after my long and exhausting day.




The next morning I had a visit from some friends, wrote up a birth announcement to send to facebook and extended family and my sister came to visit with real food (I hate hospital food). Vanessa brought Joaquin in for me to spend time with before they were able to leave the hospital later that day. I spent a few

hours with them off and on. Getting to love on him was great closure for me. He was so sweet and it was awesome to get to finally meet the little guy I'd been carrying for the last 10 months. There was no attachment. He was not my baby nor did I ever really bond with him. Even now, when they send me pictures, I love him as if he was a nephew. It was nice to get to spend time with him but it was even more nice to get some good uninterrupted sleep. I power pumped all day so that I could provide him milk and some to go home with.

This now complete family got to go home that night. Vanessa, Gus and Camellia came in one last time as they were being wheeled out to go home. I said my good byes and told them what an honor it was to get to do this for them. I started crying as soon as they left. It was all so bittersweet. Bittersweet because while my journey had just ended, theirs was beginning. I was sad it was over for me and I had an unwanted c-section but overjoyed that I could give life, give this gift to such an amazing family.

Kaleen came to visit me the next morning and we talked about my emotions over my journey being over, the c-section and recovery. Between her, Nik and my doula everyone kept a close eye on me just in case I needed the extra emotional help. I was home before we hit the 36 hour postpartum mark which is unheard of after a c-section typically. My body, my choice, right? When we came home and my only job was to rest and pump. Nik took the week off and my sister came to help as often as she could. Even with the birth going the way it did I can honestly say I don't regret it for a second. This was an amazing experience and I'd do it again in a heart beat.

Read Part I
Read Part II
Recovery story and updates coming soon...