How am I doing.... part II

Written 4/30/2014

   Emotions. I get asked by just about everyone, understandably,  how am I doing emotionally when it comes to attachment and knowing I'm going to have to give the baby up. The way I see it it I have this little buddy who comes around with me and likes to kick me in the bladder. I'm not an emotional person. I didn't cry when I got married or birthed my own children. Its just not me. This is my pregnancy, my birth and that's it. I don't even consider myself a surrogate mother, I'm carrying the baby for someone and that's how I explain it to people. There is no serious attachment to the baby nor am I worried I'm going to be upset when he's born and its time to go home for him. Honestly, I'm looking forward to laboring, birthing and having his mom or dad catch him as he crowns and watching them meet the baby they've waited so long for, helping his mom latch him on to her breast and getting a good uninterrupted nap in for myself.

   Having my own children there to whiteness me birth a baby is also something I'm looking forward to. I want them to see what I went through to have them and to see the beauty and strength in a pregnant woman as I do. I know that may be a bit of  wishful thinking on my part but they are surrounded by pregnancy and birth, due to the nature of my job, that I'm confident it will be a good experience for them as they already have a good appreciation for it. At the very least it will help them be more understanding and supportive of their future partners when the time comes. They have been watching birth videos since they were old enough to say "baby" and they love it so its doubtful this will be scaring on them. Several of my birthy friends whom I've has the privilege of attending their births or attending births with them will be there as well to help me is what ever way I need them too even if it is just to keep an eye on the kids in another room. Another reason for inviting them (along with my husband, kids and doula) is because I want to be realistic. Who knows how I'm going to do or feel after. I know I'm not attached to the baby, I know I'm not an emotional person but I've never carried or birthed another woman's baby before, emotions could run high for me and I may feel left out or sad or [insert random variable here]. My friends and family are going to be a good distraction for me. These lovely ladies have been a source of strength and support for me through this whole journey and even though there are about 25 of them I'd like to invite, I want the ones there who will be of the most help to me laboring, the most help the entire intended family and the most fun afterwards. I don't want support, love, hugs or any lovey dovey crap (see, not emotional) I want a freaking mimosa, sushi and someone to make me laugh. I've put together a great birth team and a great support team for postpartum. Hopefully that covers all of my bases.

Nesting. Seeing as its not my baby, there isn't a baby to get ready for. Nesting was something I assumed was just something you did out of necessity because a baby was going to be joining the family and well, it needs a place to sleep and some clothes to wear. Apparently its a hormonal thing. I started nesting around 18 weeks by trying to remodel and redecorate my house. I gutted my closet, painted it and installed new custom shelving and flooring. New floors in the formal living room, or as we like to call it, the play room. With new flooring came the washing of all the walls and baseboards and my sister had to stop me from painting several rooms in the house. Once the new rugs were in I got a sinus infection from the off gassing of the new rugs and scotch guard crap they spray on it so I was down for a few weeks. Around 28 weeks it started again. The back yard (I live on 1/4 acre) had way too may leaves in the flower beds for my liking and my spring veggie garden needed to be planted. Planting my spring veggies turned into adding 2 more garden beds, power washing the pool deck pavers, cutting down a small tree myself, digging out big shrubs, ripping out all the over growth of ferns and weeds, raking 30+ big bags of leaves, ripping out flower beds, planting sod plugs and re-landscaping the entire property. Because re-landscaping my entire property at 30 week is what I should be doing. Luckily my kids will do just about anything for $1 so I did have some help and making a Disney station on Pandora for them did the trick as well. I'm now 32 weeks and its getting into the high 80's and even 90's some days and that I won't put myself though. I wait till dusk when its much cooler out. My midwife says its great exercise as long as I don't lift (or pull) too much weight, get overheated or dehydrated and get lots of rest. Nik gets worried about it as do all my my neighbors who watch in shock over a very pregnant woman shovel big shrubs out of the ground and doing squats all over the yard to install sod. Really, the looks are priceless. I think I say at least 3x a day "I'm pregnant, not handicapped ". Nik had our spa heater and the pools solar panels fixed so I have a nice comfortable pool to get in to cool off during/after and hot tub to go into at night after the kids go to bed to soothe my achey muscles. At least the nesting isn't baby related.

Diet, cravings and weight gain. Cravings are never something I experienced with my previous pregnancies. Maybe its because of all the meds I was on for IVF and some hormones are elevated or maybe its just because I'm older this time but this time I've had them since the beginning. Originally I had food aversions and mostly to meat. Pizza was something that was safe as I never eat meat on that anyways. Mushroom pizza became a bit of a craving for the first trimester. Doughnuts and nacho favored bugles (yuck, I know) for about 2 weeks in my second trimester which earned me several extra lbs even though I did eat them in moderation, or so I though. Apparently eating 7 or 8 of the doughnut holes is still just as bad as eating the normal sized ones... who knew!?!?!  Luckily that phase didn't last long. around 25 weeks the sushi cravings began and they were intense and frequent. My favorite is a Philly roll which has smoked salmon which is safe to eat when pregnant. My midwives say that as long as the sushi is fresh and from a reputable place (I am for places that don't smell of fish) and/or is cooked or smoked its safe to eat. I'm eating it 3x a week because its getting to be an expensive craving to have. I've upped my intake of omegas, sea kelp for iodine and avocado just in case those deficiencies were the reason for the craving. They cravings have subsided a bit but I still get take out 3 times a week for it and Fresh market has a veggie Philly roll for $5.99 which satiates my craving until I can get to my favorite sushi place for lunch and get the real thing. I'm 32 weeks and have gained about 25lbs so far. Not want I wanted but I'm just one of those women who put of weight when I'm pregnant. Luckily its mostly baby and boobs (seriously, its like they are in competition with my belly to see who can get bigger. I'm a 32FFF at the moment. I still have 8 more weeks to go and that's not even considering when my milk comes in). At 32 weeks I'm only now just getting soft around the edges and have moved out of all of my non-pregnancy jeans.

Sleeping. Most expecting moms complain of lack of sleep or pregnancy insomnia as I hear it referred to around the doula water cooler. Its an up 12x a night to pee, not being able to get comfortable and pregnancy can be hard on a woman's bone and muscular structure so getting and stay comfortable is not easy task. I am lucky enough to not be one of those moms. Chiropractic care is so important in pregnancy, its important always actually, so I stay nice and aligned, keep baby in a nice position as not to cause me any discomfort and keeps me active so no uncomfortable restless night here. I only get up once a night to pee so that's not a factor wither. Do your kegals or squats ladies, a strong pelvic floor can make or break a pregnancy.
Overall I get a nap in a few times a week and sleep fairly well at night. at 30 weeks I did have a few night of sore hips but nothing that my chiropractor, Dr. Erin, couldn't fix and I've been good as new ever since.